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30 March 2012 @ 11:10 am

You know what? Sometimes it is ok to be scared. Sometimes it's ok to be not confident. Especially if it is warranted. I've had a total of one course in 3D animation and the prof was an idiot and only taught four classes. FOUR classes. So yeah, I think I am missing a ton of practical knowledge and theory that is needed for a basic foundation for animating. I feel like my animations are not up to industry entry level. Especially lately. I feel like I am moving backwards and my animation is getting worse. So I am not going to apply to an internship all the way across the country. I am going to stay home, save my money and go to a real animation school.

Because I feel that a high end animation company who are hiring interns will want one with more experience then just two walk cycles, a short film with barely any animation and three less then good looking cut scenes. So why not apply anyways since I know I won't be hired? Because honestly, I don't need any more rejection in my life right now. I have applied to so many jobs and I have been shut down even before the interviewing stage for every single one. So yeah, call me unconfident, scared and cowardly. I don't care. I think this decision which I did not make lightly is best for me right now.

I am going to take this year to get money and work on my demo reel and try to learn a bit more and then I will apply to animation schools and hopefully get in. Then I can learn and gain confidence and then I will apply to every studio in the world. Don't say that I will never be not confident if I am not right now...I am firmly convinced that more schooling will give me so much more confidence cause right now I have none. I know when to suck it up and just do it. And right now, emotionally, mentally and even physically, I am not ready.

Feeling: angryangry
raven_40: confidenceraven_40 on March 30th, 2012 04:59 pm (UTC)
I don't think that you are acting cowardly. I'd rather call your behaviour sensible. And I agree with you on this matter. Why waisting time and money on a task, that you know will go awry? It's a lot wiser to spend that time in learning and practicing. And it's not like you're giving this whole thing up completely. You'll blow their minds, but in your own time.
gilove2dancegilove2dance on March 30th, 2012 07:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!! My professor chewed my ear out this morning and none of my friends understand. I got really upset.
goddessofbirth: Rafia Chicksgoddessofbirth on March 30th, 2012 08:51 pm (UTC)
((hugs)) It is perfectly okay to give yourself time to gather your wits. You are awesome, and when you are ready, you will take the world by storm.
gilove2dancegilove2dance on March 30th, 2012 09:08 pm (UTC)